


Someday

by nocturnalKnight



Category: It Lives (Visual Novels)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix It Fic, Noah and MC both live, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:27:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24513085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nocturnalKnight/pseuds/nocturnalKnight
Summary: Jun confesses. Noah runs. Neither of them can escape their demons, or forget about each other. The span of a years-long yearning.
Relationships: Noah Marshall/Main Character (It Lives In The Woods)
Kudos: 7





	Someday

**Author's Note:**

> I give. I thought I was going to write my first Choices fic for Colt Kaneko, and yet, here I am.

Jun remembers sitting poolside with him, the sizzle-crackle-pop of sausages on the grill, scent making her mouth water. She was lying on a lawn chair with her hand draped over her forehead, looking at the stars, but she’s also studying Noah as he talked about his passion for food. She’d gotten pumped up and yelled about him going to culinary school across the water, disrupting the soothing background noise of people laughing and splashing, but Andy - King Kang - had bellowed joyfully in return. 

They’d all been high on adrenaline that night - so, exhilaratingly, unbelievably high - that it’d felt as if the sky was too low then to contain them. The boy she’s known as long as Jane - she steals glances when she thinks he isn’t looking. They haven’t talked properly in years, and he’s retreated into himself; cigarettes and frayed jackets listening to metal. Not that she’s been any better - she chopped off most her hair and went silver, started dressing tough, Ava and her like twin stars in their leather jackets. The scent of chemicals as she bleaches her hair over and over with hip hop blasting in the background, trying to shave away everything about who she was. They’re supposed to be the misanthropes, yet here they all are at Stacy’s party. She remembers thinking: She’s glad he isn’t alone anymore. She’s glad he came.

All the memories of them standing by each other no matter what flash by. Him sneaking out just to find her after she went into the forest alone, her phone blown up with his calls and texts, her telling him we’ll always find each other, all of it.

She’s standing in the cavern. She’s looking at him, both of them shaking. She could be furious. She could be, but she understands why. There’s water dripping, and she’s terrified, but she tries to put on a brave face. It cracks and Noah can see it, decipher it immediately and he shakes his head vehemently.

“No. No, I won’t allow you!”

She attempts a weak smile. “Didn’t I tell you? You’re going to culinary school after graduation. We yelled it. That’s a pact.”

“Jun, please, don’t make me do this, don’t make me lose you-”

She places a hand on his cheek. She can’t remember when they’ve touched without it being a group hug or him grabbing her out of harm’s way; he shivers.

“You won’t lose me. I’ll always be a part of you. I’ll always be here.”

She swallows. There’s so much she wants to say. _I don’t want to die. But I can’t-_

His eyes are glistening. There’s something she has to say, her heart beating furiously. She wants to remember every inch of his face, everything about him, his lopsided smile, even his stupid goofy grumpy scowl, the way his hair falls like a skater kid’s.

“Noah, I need to say something, and it’s possibly at the worst time in the world, but I feel like it might be my only chance to say it. If this is the last time I-” she cuts herself off, her eyes clenched shut.

“Jun...”

She looks at him head on. The words come out so fast it’s almost one phrase, she’s rushing it out while she still has the nerve. “I like you.”

Of all the things he expects her to say, that isn’t one of them. His eyes widen comically. For a moment they both forget they’re standing in a death cave with his sister/monster.

“What? No, you don’t.” He says automatically, then registers as he looks at her that she’s completely serious.

She winces. “I- I am. I think, I- I know you told Andy you weren’t in that place and that makes sense, I don’t- you don’t need to answer. I just wanted you to know before I...do this. I care about you, Noah. So much. Even though I’m still mad at you and I could punch your teeth in, I don’t want you to die. So live. Please.”

At this he crumples. “Fuck. This is all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“How can you say that, after all this?”

“Because I want you to remember it.”

They hold each other and when she withdraws she’s looking right at his stupid, cute face and he’s trying so hard not to hyperventilate.

“I think...I like you too. Have for a while,” Noah says quietly. “But I’m too fucked up for someone like you. I always have been, even before I did this.”

Jun can’t take it anymore, she fists her hands in his jacket and leans in to kiss him, stopping halfway to gauge his reaction only to be surprised by his hands on her waist and yanking her to him, the kiss desperate and aching. It’s rough and their teeth clack together before they both force themselves to slow down a bit, but it’s still frantic and scrambling, trying to memorize this first and last kiss. His hands are running all over every part of her he can reach at this angle, and she moans and bites his lower lip. Every second that passes feels both quick and dragging on forever, and she doesn’t want to let him go for a second. But they have to, finally separate, his hair unbelievably mussed and his expression dazed.

“You know, I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone like you again,” he says.

“Damn straight,” she replies.

Then she walks towards Jane. She can’t bring herself to say goodbye even as he grasps her wrist and tries to tug her back to him. She closes her eyes. “Noah...please don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“I’ll find a way to save you,” he swears. “I’ll come back for you.”

He loosens his grip just enough for her to walk away and every moment feels like agony, but when she reaches Jane she’s reached a strange apotheosis, an aching kind of clarity.

_I’m ready._

Until she spots another figure, limping into the clearing. One she thought was already dead.

“Cora?!” Jun and Noah both exclaim. The scarred woman is still leaking blood onto rocks, but there’s a determination in her eyes that assures them that she’s not one of Jane’s zombies. Not yet.

“You kids are noisy and dramatic,” she croaks hoarsely. “I’ve lived this long by extending my life and always having a contingency plan should the Power go amuck. Step aside. I need to finish what I started, not children squabbling over who can sacrifice themselves first.”

“Cora, we should get you to a hospital-”

“The Power took my other eye, stole my liver, killed my creature, girl. What else do I have to live for? I am the keeper of these woods. This is my responsibility. Not yours. Now move.”

Her expression when she approaches Jane is not like anything Jun’s seen before. It’s soft, tender, apologetic. They exchange a murmured conversation before Cora slumps to the ground, absorbed and absolved.

* * *

Jun and Noah emerge from the cavern trembling. There are spotlights already swinging above head into the canopy, questing into the dilapidated house.

Jun darts forward to the door only to notice Noah hanging back, and she turns to look at him.

“Noah, we have to go, make sure everyone’s okay-”

“I have to leave.” He says, voice shaking. “I can’t- after everything I did to them, to _you_ -”

“So stay!” She says urgently. “Explain-”

“Dammit Jun, even if any of them could ever forgive me, you think the Mayor is going to take it lightly that I put her daughter in danger? I’m an easy scapegoat to blame for this whole mess and I deserve it, and you know it. You could’ve died. All of you could’ve died because I was stupid and selfish and I didn’t trust you-”

The truth comes to her with a chilling clarity. “You’re going to run.”

He hesitates, which tells her everything she needs to know.

“Face up to what happened,” Jun says. “Own up to it. Be accountable. You can’t run from this forever, and I don’t want you to leave, Noah. I want the chance to forgive you. I want you to be better. Please.”

“Jun, you’re the only person left in this shit town that cares about me.”

“Andy cared about you. All of us cared about you. You made some fucking shit choices but everyone’s okay. You could stay. Do the right thing.”

“I wish I could be that guy, Jun. But I wouldn’t last a single day in juvenile detention, and you know it.”

She shuts her eyes. “God. I know. I do know. You have to go.”

* * *

The next year passes. She remains closest to Andy, Ava and Dan, even though they larger gang are all still friends. She and Connor feel like ships in the night - nothing feels like it can touch her again. She still hasn’t told anyone about her kissing Noah. She took a gap year, and after the memorial, she feels adrift. So she enrolls in school, gets accepted by a couple despite not knowing what the hell she’s doing. But she’s getting out. This town is too full of ghosts for her now. University of Washington isn’t far, but it isn’t close either. She hops in her car with a motley amount of things, says her goodbyes - the gang promises that they’ll all come visit and at least call once a week - and she’s gone.

* * *

_“Now’s just not the time for us. Maybe it never will be.”_

_The words land like anvils on the floor of this cursed house and she wishes she’d never said it. She almost wishes they’d never kissed, now that she’s still standing._

* * *

They at least didn’t pin Cora’s death on him, which is a plus. He knows - on some level he knows - that Jun fought for him, tried to talk them down from it. But he recklessly lured the Mayor’s daughter, the Sheriff’s kid and the student body president, not to mention everyone else, into a death trap. So he’s wanted for attempted murder. He runs as far as he can. Utah, Minnesota, he steers clear of big cities especially after those two cops caught wind of him because he’d been lingering in a place for too long. Stupid. He makes money by doing under the table jobs; custodian work, temp jobs he gets by stealing people’s identities until shit runs dry, sleeping rough until he squirrels away what he can to finally maybe live somewhere.

He sends Jun postcards. Nothing identifiable about them; he always sends them right before he skips town, and even though it’s still a paper trail he can’t bring himself to regret it. When he can, he tries to pick images of food, or beautiful skyscapes: she was always fond of cloud watching. He doesn’t know what to write on them, and he thinks sorry on every single one of them might be gratuitous. In his spare time, all he thinks about - aside from the hellscape that has become his life and how to atone - is recipes. So instead he sends her those. Jun’s capable of a lot of things, he knows, but he also knows that she could burn a house down trying to make bacon.

There are times he circles back, after the first year of his manhunt has died down. He can’t help it. He wants to know how she’s doing, and she can’t send him anything. He smashed his phone the first chance he got. He checks in on his mom too, even though she’s probably glad to be rid of him. She looks older and tired every time. But she’s got a new boyfriend. So he’s happy for her. Life has moved on without him, and shouldn’t it? Even though it stings like hell?

He doesn’t know how to tail Jun without being immensely creepy or blowing his cover, so he just throws his hands up and gives into the whole surreal element. Spying on his sister’s best friend that he almost killed and then kissed right after. Great. He swipes a wig from a store, puts on preppy clothes and tries to carry himself like a jock asshole out-of-towner come in from Pine Springs to sample somewhere else. Somehow it works or maybe this town just doesn’t give a fuck about some random dude.

Noah sits at the cafe he knows she loves everyday for a week, buying coffee. This becomes a practice for a couple of months, dipping in and out of state lines. It’s risky but he can’t help orbiting her like a starved moon. He notices that Connor isn’t around Jun much anymore. Not that he cares. Not that it’s kept him up at night, wondering if she’d just confessed in the heat of the moment, about-to-die bad decisions about kissing the nearest body around.

He’s there when he overhears that she’s going to Seattle for school, talking with Lily and Ava over hot chocolate. His heart clenches. Maybe he can talk to her there, out of the still vigilant eye of Westchester’s target on him. Maybe maybe maybe. Maybe not. But all he’s ever done is bring her trouble.

He could see her. Once. She might never want to talk to him, but at least he’d know. He could try to move on with his life, even though he knows he could never move on from someone like Jun.

* * *

_“You deserve better than me. Just...forget about me.”_

_Her fearsome gaze is something to behold. “Why? Because it’ll be so easy for you to do the same?”_

_Noah swallows. The clock’s ticking. He needs to go now. But he replies, “I don’t think that’s possible.”_

* * *

She kept the postcards. She brought them with her. She doesn’t even know why.

She’s house sitting for somebody gone on a long sabbatical, an online friend she made, so she’s managed to stay away from dorms. She doesn’t think she could handle living with someone with all the nightmares she has, the screaming she wakes to.

She sticks up the photos she has of her friends. She keeps the postcards in the kitchen, has tried to make every single recipe and failed fantastically. But now she can at least make eggs, and a decent chicken fillet.

College is different and hard and insane, but she makes friends fast. Always has. No one could replace her best friends, but the city life is intoxicating; she gets invited to arts events, parties and smokes joints in the park when the dreary weather finally settles into summer and she’s interning at a non profit.

She’s thinking about finally taking up therapy, something Dan has been subtly pushing the rest of the group to do for ages. The nightmares get worse, about Cody’s body impaled on the tree, about spiders, about Jane - she has to take medical leave for a quarter, dreams that she can’t press down under a haze of weed and clubbing anymore with the pressure closing in. Andy’s dropped by for a spell during this “break” and they sit by Gay City, a queer resources center, library and cafe all in one, catching up and commiserating. It’s June now, hot, and she’s thinking about setting up an appointment now that she’s more settled (and less, funny how life works) in her new life.

She’s walking past Cal Anderson, the big beautiful park of the gay district, when she spots him. He could be any white Seattle guy on the street - she feels like she’s caught glances of him or lookalikes so much since she moved here - with his beanie, messy long hair and hoodie, but.

He’s sitting on the bleachers near the basketball court with a joint in his mouth, watching everyone else strewn on the field reading, talking or eating, the sunset painting everyone gold.

_You can’t be here. This is a dream or a hallucination. I’ve finally lost it. I should’ve gone to therapy sooner._

Jun, despite her doubts, approaches him from the side. Every step closer she’s more convinced that it is him, even if he’s changed up his look slightly. He takes the joint out of his mouth, blows out a plume of smoke before he turns to see her. His eyes grow wide.

Her lips part. The whole world seems to narrow down to just them.

“Noah?”


End file.
